{"id":3054,"date":"2009-05-02T04:06:29","date_gmt":"2009-05-02T09:06:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pinkhairedgirl.net\/?p=3054"},"modified":"2009-05-02T04:06:29","modified_gmt":"2009-05-02T09:06:29","slug":"the-big-d-and-i-dont-mean-dallas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherecovery.com\/blog\/?p=3054","title":{"rendered":"Sorry, No Clever Title…"},"content":{"rendered":"

I fight depression. There. I said it. <\/strong><\/h3>\n

And it has been a battle I’ve waged since my late-teens.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not constantly.
\nI have high hills and low valleys.<\/p>\n

Why am I writing about this today? Well, friends… the Big D is back. And it is back bigger than I have experienced it in a long while. This particular bout has been a long-time coming though (since Christmas I reckon). But I ignored it, trying to be strong and beat it without the aid of something chemical.<\/p>\n

I don’t know why I can’t seem to learn from the past.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The biggest way depression affects me is isolation and the loss of motivation and joy. When these times of depression come along, I tend to just wanna be alone – all the time – complete avoidance of all humankind. I sleep, eat and I feel really, really sad. And not to mention, also feel really, really worthless.<\/p>\n

My defenses are down and the enemy swoops in with his less-than-clever lies. (ie. no one loves you and your friends don’t actually like you, you have no business writing a book, why should anyone listen to an uneducated loser like you, you have no value, etc.) and when I buy into them, the depression grows because I begin to believe them. And my past comes back up. Painful memories consume my mind. Anger and bitterness is directed at everything and everyone. And temptations<\/a> overwhelm me.<\/p>\n

Even writing this post, I feel inadequate to do so. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I know some people just simply don’t believe in depression and\/or mental illness. And that’s fine. You can believe what you want to believe. But I know that what I am facing and have faced in the past, isn’t normal. And a lack of faith or closeness in my relationship with God isn’t the cause for it. And there’s no quick fix.<\/p>\n

I have a great life. Great job. Great church. Great family. Great friends. And an even greater God who loves me. But it is bigger than life’s circumstances and I think that what a lot of people don’t understand about depression.<\/p>\n

We live in a broken world, a fallen world. And our bodies are a part of it. Depression is a very real, chemical imbalance and sometimes it takes more than prayer and Kum Ba Yah to overcome it. And in my case, depression is even genetic. Yes… genetic.<\/p>\n

So, as of midnight on May 1, I am back on a low-dose anti-depressant. For a season, to help me climb out of this black hole.<\/p>\n

The reason I tell you all this is two-fold. <\/strong><\/h3>\n

1) To ask that you please pray for me. I don’t enjoy these seasons. Quite lonely & quite dark. The lack of motivation and joy is the hardest part. I have much to be motivated and excited for (my book, vacation and speaking engagements) but I am literally depleted.<\/p>\n

2) To tell those who are battling your own depression that you are definitely not alone. This is a safe place to share your story and to receive support & prayer<\/a>.
\n<\/em>
\nLet us all do what Galatians 6 calls us to, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I fight depression. There. I said it. And it has been a battle I’ve waged since my late-teens. Not constantly. I have high hills and low valleys. Why am I writing about this today? Well, friends… the Big D is back. And it is back bigger than I have experienced it in a long while.… Continue reading Sorry, No Clever Title…<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165,25,65],"tags":[75,98,279],"class_list":["post-3054","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-box-of-chocolates","category-depression","category-women","tag-anti-depressants","tag-crazy","tag-depression","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherecovery.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3054","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherecovery.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherecovery.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherecovery.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherecovery.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3054"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherecovery.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3054\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherecovery.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3054"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherecovery.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3054"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherecovery.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3054"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}