i think i’ve become captivatingly wild at heart
ever tire of being single?
disclaimer: before you keep reading just know this post comes from the emotional heart of an almost 22 year old, incredibly single christian girl who just watched “Run Away Bride”. a movie about a girl who leaves 5 men at the alter… yes 5 … and gets Richard Gere at the end. yes… i know it is supposed to be a romantic comedy… but what is discouraging when watching something like that is I can’t even get one guy. this may bring some embarrassment later – to reveal my heart like this – but this is where i’m at. thanks for reading.
why am i SO single? no… not just single… i can’t even get a date!!
on a good day i can usually say, “oh i am quite content in my single-hood” and mean it… but if i were to say that at this moment… a lightning bolt would shoot from the sky and hit me directly between the eyes… and since there are storms in the area i am not going to take that risk. friends… i hate being single. there… some honesty for you in a world of ‘run around’ and fine print.
do guys have this problem? i am sure they do but i can’t see it being as bad… since in the Christian world guys have the power. don’t get me wrong… women have power in it too, but according to John and Stasi Eldridge… if a girl wants to be asked out… she has to wait patiently to be “rescued” and “pursued” by letting the guy “lead”. i am pretty much okay with that whole concept, but too often the guy doesn’t do it.
i think if i had been asked out on a date recently some things would feel different but since i am going on 22 years with no great dates to really speak of… it’s hard. it has taken 22 years to realize that there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel desirable… to be captivating… to be fought for… to be rescued… to be pursued!!! i want to be cherished… to unveil my beauty… be seen as strong and be a part of the adventure and passion of romance and relationship.
i am not really seeking advice or encouragement… because i’ve read it (book after book) and heard pretty much all of it (from my sappy, happily married friends) … they are great words of advice and encouragement but sometimes i just want to talk about it and expose my heart. so that’s why i post today.
Warning: Sappy Lyrics
“You Can’t Hurry Love”
– The Supremes, Phil Collins or Dixie Chicks – whoever you prefer. :)
I need love, love
oh, ease my mind
And I need to find time
someone to call mine;
How many heartaches must I stand
Before I find the love to let me live again
Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on
when I feel my strength, ooh, it’s almost gone
No, I cant bear to live my life alone
I grow impatient for a love to call my own
But when I feel that I, I can’t go on
Well these precious words keep me hanging on
Now love, love don’t come easy
But I keep on waiting
Anticipating for that soft voice
To talk to me at night
For some tender arms
hold me tight
I keep waiting
Ooh, till that day
But it ain’t easy (Love don’t come easy)
No, you know it ain’t easy
My mama said
You can’t hurry love
No, you’ll just have to wait
She said love don’t come easy
But it’s a game of give and take
You can’t hurry love
No, you’ll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time
No matter how long it takes
I am SOOOOOO right there with you. I made the mistake early on and told God that I didn’t want to date around because I truly hated the breaking up part. He obliged me with very few dates. Nice. The good news is, you only marry ONE…
Dude, that pain is SO real. Single Christian women have one of the worst times of it, I think. In fact, just last week I was right where you are. But God really just impressed on me not to let that enemy tell you that what you have right now isn’t fabulous. You don’t have to check your schedule with anyone, you don’t have to share your bank account with anyone. You don’t have to worry about all that “couple” stuff.
You are fabulous! And one day, that knight WILL rescue you. Until then, rest in the arms of the only TRUE knight who can love us the way we need to be loved. :)
Love you!
-Jill
P.S. It was FABULOUS seeing you up there yesterday singing your heart out. I’m so proud of you for serving God with your gifts!!! :)
The only thing I can say to you is that even though I am on the side of the “well meaning married friends”….before I was that, I made CRAZY mistakes chasing the stupid dream of finding Mr.Right and I know that you don’t want to hear it…but I will say it anyway…”You are so worth the wait” and “DO NOT COMPROMISE” it only leads to destruction. I love you and you are so fabulous. Whatever…I know you didn’t want the whatever encouragement, but you got it anyways…because I just can’t keep my big, fat mouth shut. Sorry.
All i’ve got to say is….YEP.
Love you.
you are fabulous my dear. fabulous. i’m getting ready to start leading a bible study on the book captivating! i love you sooo much
trace
Guess what! Even married women can feel a similar feeling.
Growing up, I dreamt of being the pursued, beautiful woman. TV shows and stories always reassured that guys were always thinking about girls, wanting to go out or at least make it to third base. When I had a crush on a guy in school, it could take me months or years to get past it and I was sure guys must go through the same terrible crushes. Later, I realized I was wrong about all of this. Guys get over crushes very quickly, are completely entertained by sports or video games and don’t really want to deal with the hassle of pursuing women. I don’t think it’s fair for us to have to worry about guys if they aren’t worrying about us. Why expend all of your emotional energy on them? They don’t think about us. Get on with enjoying all the other parts of your life. Accomplish greatness (get your degree, a great job, perfect your hobbies) and put guys out of your head. That’s when your most likely to be pursued! When you truly don’t care about getting a date, you will. I’m sorry to say, but this is how things are.