The Ugly Truth

Today’s post is from Lori Wilhite from Leading and Loving it. She has been in ministry and leadership for 13 years, and is the wife of Jud Wilhite, author and Senior Pastor of Central Church in Las Vegas. I was lucky enough to meet her several months ago and know that she’s the real deal. I am thankful for her wisdom and also for her friendship. And all I can say is that if I am ever a pastor’s wife, I hope she lets me into her awesome club.

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I’m a people pleaser. Yep … I surely am.

I like for people to like me. No. That probably isn’t true. I need people to like me.

I’ve known this about myself for a long, long time. I’ve known it is a weakness. I’ve known it is something that I needed to work on. It is why I struggle so much with criticism.

But through a series of events over the last couple of weeks, I’ve come to realize something.

It isn’t just a weakness. Not just something I should work on. It is an idol. A big, fat, old, ugly idol.

I have gotten to the place where I am putting the thoughts and opinions of others above the Lord’s. I had let the criticism of a few wreck me even though I knew that I was doing what the Lord wanted.

But no more … nope. Making sure the Lord is back on the throne in that part of my life. Will I still struggle … probably. But I know what it is now … in all of its ugliness.

So, there it is … deep breath … I’m feeling better.


  1. It’s so easy to make an idol of anything. Thanks for sharing your fragility in this area, Lori. Keeping feeling better :)

  2. I have a cousin that just took a pastor’s position out at Central…I hear it’s a great church! He’s one of their new campus pastors. I need to check it out. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Makeda

    Thank you for sharing. While I like to think I’m not a people pleaser, I’ve been stepping out in some new areas and discovering how desperately I need the approval of others in order to keep moving forward. God has been working on me with this and your post is just a reminder that it is His approval that I must seek above all else. Thank you again.

  4. Hey Lori…his name is Danny Dyer. I think he’s at the Northeast campus? I think…Hope I’m right on that? If so…it’s a small world. :)

  5. I wondered if it was Danny. He and Mallory are great. And doing a wonderful work. Love having them on the team! Yes, it is a small world.

  6. They are great! We are missing them here…but so glad they are following God’s plan for their ministry. I’ll have to check out Central’s site now. Nice to ‘meet’ you, Lori. Enjoyed your words about ‘pleasers’…I can so relate! :)

  7. After surveying over 400 20-somethings for my book I was blown away by the # of them who said “people pleasing.” And it wasn’t until I watched movies like 27 Dresses and The Ugly Truth and met a few people I couldn’t please that I learned this is an ugly idol in my life too. Thanks for sharing Lori!

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