I am writing this post today with an incredibly overwhelmed heart.

October 1996: My porn addiction began at 10 years old.

October 1999: Started attending church at Westside.

July 2000: I accepted Christ at church camp… but still actively engaged in pornography and sexual addiction when I got home.

November 2003. I had just revealed my porn addiction for the first time. I was in the beginning of my recovery. I was beginning to know what it meant to be accountable to my behavior. Not just to someone else, but ultimately to God.

February 2004: I started working at Westside in an administrative assistant position. No one there (except Anne) knew about my past. Three months later, I switch positions on staff and found a sweet spot in Communications.

February 2008: I began leading my first recovery group for women at Westside.

February 2009: I launched Dirty Girls Ministries.

February 2010 and as I write this: I am about to pack my suitcase for a day of travel on Sunday. I’m visiting Covenant Eyes headquarters in Owosso, MI.

I was invited to be a part of a networking meeting with other pioneers in porn ministry (all men of course, except I was able to ask/force/wrangle Nicole Wick to come out for a day). I’m going to be interviewed as part of a documentary on porn addiction. I will be speaking from the perspective of female addicts. And if that wasn’t enough, Covenant Eyes has asked me to present to their team—the causes, effects and factors behind female porn addiction.

March/April 2010: Dirty Girls Ministries (and I) will be featured in the April issue ofChristian Today Magazine for the column, “Who’s Next: People You Need to Know.”

And I am presently having an active conversation with a well-known Christian publisher regarding my book. I’ll know in just a matter of weeks whether this a-go.

Wha?

If you doubt that God could or would use your story … I’m a testament that He will literally scrape the bottom of the barrel in order to bring glory to Himself. He never wastes an experience. No matter how painful or ugly it may be.

I feel like sooooooo unworthy of this.

Any of this.

Yet, I know it isn’t about me at all. And that’s what is so cool about it.

Humbled.
Overwhelmed.
Appreciative.

And I beg for your prayers.