whew…. what a ride!

you know that as humans we are out of control? I know we make our own
decisions and are blessed with free will… but control is not
something I believe we ever truly possess… only God has control and
it has become quite clear that in certain areas of my life – control
was deeply and completely out of my hands. *enter dramatic music here*

I was unexpectedly tossed into a difficult emotional situation…
almost ridiculous… (ok yes… ridiculous) but here towards the end of
it all – turned into quite the extraordinary learning experience. Yes,
I am being vague and will remain that way as I would rather not expose the wound
to the entire Internet world – but for those who are on the "inside"
and know what it is I speak of – I wanted to announce that … I am
finally healing… for real now. Although it took long time to get here
and an icky route to travel down – I know there was a reason for the entire ride. A real reason. A growing pains kind of reason.

are still appreciated. Please pray for my heart and pray for my mind as
I know they need to be closer to the same rhythm for me to actually get
all the way good. I know the
heart and the mind often speak a different language but I know too that
through God in all of His mercy and faithfulness – it is possible.

Truly Lord, thank You for this experience and for walking me through it. Thank you for allowing me to clearly see
the reason why You had me walk through it and for the knowledge I
walked out with… Thank you for the growing pains… That seems like a
weird thing to be thankful for – but I truly am. Thank you for keeping
me humble and keeping my heart soft when I could have grown bitter and

And ladies (you know who you are) – thank you for listening to the drama and loving me any way.

I made it through and I am still standing.

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