hello all. first, if you haven’t already read my africa experience post – i really encourage you do so. it’s super long but for now it is the best way i can personally share my africa mission experience.

as amazing as this trip was, i brought home a lot more than souvenirs. in fact, i would like to share with you my current struggle. the struggle of re-entry. i guess the best way of explaining how i feel is to tell you in what ways i am struggling:

1. My attitudes toward wealth, consumption and stewardship – the American way
2. The ways our individual choices as well as the policies of our government affect the world
3. Christianity in other cultures and around the world
4. Issues of justice, including what it means to “pursue justice” as a Christian
5. My inability to speak about my experience coherently

we were told to expect difficulty when re-entering our lives back home in the States but i didn’t take much of what was said to us to heart because, well, frankly i didn’t expect to be affected this much.

God’s awesome and I have a new-found passion for my Creator in a way that is incomprehensible, but I am struggling with where He has me. I guess you could say that i am almost upset that His direction and prompting led me to go to a place that turned my life upsidedown – with little understanding of what i can do about it. i saw so much and experience so much that i am still processing it. i can’t form coherent sentences and talk to people about my experience because it’s so overwhelming.

I don’t want to forget or relinguish any of what i saw or experienced, but I do want to be able to function and feel like what i do HERE matters too. I want clarity and peace in where He wants me to go from here. do i go or do i stay? how do i know? apparently, i have a passion and a calling on my life, but who knew?

i guess it is super hard to explain unless you can relate. i’m rambling. so, if you have mission experiences and can share how you dealt with this process, i would greatly appreciate it. through scriptures, prayers, songs, stories, anything.

everyone: i covet your prayers right now.

love you.
Crystal