Revenge of the Nerd
“You must have been popular in high school, huh?” said a coworker of mine.
Unfortunately, I had to correct him and share with him this story and preceded to explain how severely unpopular I actually was throughout my school years. That was quite the fun conversation… but what was odd was how surprised he was. He just couldn’t believe that I wouldn’t have been popular in high school.
Let me paint you a picture.
I had this long, thin (but big) curly brown hair with zero shape. I had zero sense of fashion and wore clothes that were too big for me. But looks aside, I was not sociable. A lousy and lazy student. I was the chubby girl. I was the drama girl. The music girl. The art girl. The photographer girl. The journalism girl. The clueless girl. I carried a lot of demons. I had maybe 2 friends I saw outside of school. And I kept to myself.
What amazes me, and still amazes every day is God’s sense of humor and redemptive power. I am not a prom queen now by any means, but I’ve somehow become popular in these few years since high school and have experience things I never thought I would. People want to be around me. People ask my opinion. I am “fought” over for my attention at times. My introvertism doesn’t paralyze me in social situations. I am told I have a sharp wit about me (likely just sarcasm). I have some 450 blog views a day. I’m working on getting healthy and losing weight. I’ve traveled abroad. I fight for those who can’t find for themselves. I am friends with authors/speakers/pastors from all over. And I am even beginning to write my own book.
They say that the nerds, the outcasts, etc. get their revenge someday, showing up all those who belittled them in high school. And while I don’t think I am quite doing that (and I don’t mean to brag now), I am finding a lot of freedom and much solace in my new found esteem and popularity. And through humility, I pray that I will never forget what it was like to have no one want me around.
I am thankful for this blog community because in a way – I think you’ve really helped contribute to it: through allowing me this platform to open up and getting comfortable just being real with people. Even if I can’t see your faces.
Speaking of popularity… links are love. Link me, and I will link you. If you want to be added to my link love page, just let me know.
We relocated during my sophomore year of high school. High school was pretty much pure hell for me. I had maybe a handful of “acquaintances”. I couldn’t wait to get out high school. I think now, 14 years later, I’m still trying to make people like me. I overcompensate by being really snarky in the hopes that I can fit in. I now have lots of acquaintances, but less than a handful of friends, none of which I would really call a true best friend.
I was a mix of everything. When people started talking about cliques…I would always ask “where do I fit in?” To which they responded…”umm…everywhere?” My friends seemed just as confused about this as I was. I played water polo and swim team and my brother did basketball and track, so I got along with the jocks. Then I had my church friends, then I had my stoner friends. That was a good mix. Plus I took college course, so I had college friends when I was in high school. And I wasn’t a fan of actually going to school and started working when I was 15 so I had my lifeguard friends. Plus, I would skip school to go visit my friends at three other local high schools too…So really I was everywhere but didn’t fit in anywhere…which I’m strangely okay with.
High school was horrible. I hated it (although it was slightly better than junior high). I was trying to find my place and had no idea how to do that. The popular people drank and partied so I did that but it didn’t bring me any closer to any of them.
I am glad to say I know longer try to be popular. I will add that those experiences have taught me a lot about myself. I have learned to recognize when I’m seeking approval of others and when I’m being myself.
It isn’t always easy to be myself but it’s completely exhausting being someone I’m not.
i was super popular.
ok… seriously…
… i was trying to figure out who i was in high school. i was a Christ follower. i was a cheerleader. i was in choir. i was in all the school theatre productions. at home, i lived a traditional Chinese family life and at school i tried to work out how i was going to fit into an all-american culture.
i was pretty much clueless.
now, i’m older. though i still have a lot of insecurities, i think my insecurities lie in things that actually matter (i.e. am i a good mom, wife, leader, friend, etc.) vs. silly adolescent ideals (i.e. are my clothes ok, does he like me, do i sound stupid?). i think i’ve grown sick of caring about what the MASSES think of me and invest more time and energy in how I care for those around me.
i’m still a work in progress though.
I grew up on a cotton field in the middle of NO WHERE. My mother didn’t drive and my father farmed all of the time so I was stuck on that farm except when I went to school. I loved school, I loved my classes, I loved my friends. I had a good time in high school.
But, I wanted to be an adult, get off the farm, and have my own life. Here I am, almost 40 years, with a wonderful life. Guess what? I’m still in high school! I’m the teacher.
I can honestly say that I relate. In school, I was constantly made fun (usually “gay” jokes) and I sat alone at lunch. The only people I would talk to during the day was usually my teachers or if I happened to run into some from the youth group. I sat the front of class and was constantly called “teachers pet”.
Things have changed. The difference is that I realized how much I need people. How much God made me to desire people because He designed us for unity and meeting people’s needs. We were never meant to be alone.