My Health Scare: A Lesson in Being Still
Not many know what I am about to share with you. The only ones who do are in my LifeGroup (LGO) and just a couple others. While some might find the following to be TMI (and is a tad bit embarrassing for me share), we’re all family, yes?
Okay, so enough prefacing.
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Over the last 3 months I have had a little lump (about the size of a pea) on my right breast. (See, I warned you). Being Miss Proactive, I made an appointment with my girlie doctor–just to be on the safe side. My appointment was last Wednesday.
Diane, my Northern Irish (but lives in Australia) friend from LGO shared with me a verse the night before my appointment:
Exodus 14:13-14, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Have you ever had one of those moments in reading scripture where you think, “I’ve never heard that before. It must have totally just been written for me.” This verse was that kind of verse. This verse was totally for me and I knew it too because I suck at being still. I am a worrier. I am a fixer. Being still isn’t even something I know how to be.
I ended up sharing this verse via Twitter and had an enormous response from it. Others saying how much they needed to read it and be reminded of it. It was actually really cool for God to use that to take my mind off my concerns–so others who needed the reminder of Him and His promise could benefit too.
The Wednesday appointment showed the good news was that the lump I found was nothing (a cyst that will likely clear up on its own). But during the exam, she found another lump. It was a lump I had felt last month, but didn’t think much of it (go figure). My doc was a bit concerned by how it felt and wanted me to get it checked and scheduled me for an ultrasound the next morning. Right. Away.
So needless to say I was freaked out even more after that. Cause remember I suck at being still and letting Him fight.
Wednesday night was LGO. After the news I had been given, I wasn’t so much in the mood to lead anything so Christy stepped up (thank you!). After LGO was all over, we disbanded (minus myself, Diane, David and Sarah). I’m usually one of the first to leave, but I wasn’t in a hurry to toss and turn with anxiety all night. We talked for a long while about all kinds of stuff (which was great because this kept me from mulling and worrying over matters I couldn’t control) and at the end, David suggested we pray. He led it off but then Diane chimed in with a powerful prayer of healing for me. No joke, people. I know it sounds super weird, but while Diane was praying, I felt a rush of warmth over my entire body (particularly in my chest).
Whether her prayer was one of miraculous healing or not, I was so overwhelmed! I felt so richly blessed by the love of these friends and the love of my Father… I went to sleep without a care, when I otherwise would have been restless. I was stilled.
On Thursday morning, as I was sitting in the waiting room, I kept coming back to that verse in Exodus and I heard the prayer I had been praying in my heart begin to change. It went from a prayer of fear–asking to be okay and to be healed, to one that believed and trusted that I would be healed, that whatever the result was, I would be fine.
Immediately after I prayed that, my name was called and went into the tiny, dark room for my ultrasound.
According to the tech, “everything looked good.” There were no signs of cancer or any abnormality! But I am still waiting to hear if any further follow-up is required or recommended. Because of that, I wanted to wait to post this until I had a clear plan of action (if there is one). I will let you know if I hear anything worth reporting as far as that all goes.
I share this with you today because I know each and every one of us will face something scary. Something unexpected. Something in our lives where our first instinct is to panic and try to take control of it.
I am so happy that everything turned out fine. LGO has been a big help in so many ways to me. I’m glad that others feel the same way. It’s nice to have people to turn to when you need prayer…people you can trust.
thanks for the post, crystal. great reminder to trust God completely. and good job keeping up on your health.
Thanks Crystal for always being so free to share your heart! That’s what I love about you! I am so thankful for the good report! Can you even imagine how people face these kinds of things without God to carry them through? He is such a loving Father!
I love this story. It’s sooooo good to be where God wants you to be concerning a scare like this. I went through this earlier this year with discovery of an ovarian mass. My wait for an answer was longer….almost a week, during which time I was in the hospital in a lot of pain and had multiple doctors tell me, I don’t think it’s cancer..we’ll just take the mass out in surgery. Long story short, it did turn out to be cancer, but it had not spread and my docs told me with chemo I had a 90-95% rate of survival. All that to say, during that week of the unknown, I totally had to get to that point of praying that God’s will be done…and the realization that God is good all the time, not depending on what biopsies say. You would not believe the peace I have had since I came to that understanding. My pastor says when bad things happen, you can either shake your fist at God or bow your knee to what He is doing and by choosing the latter, my journey has been such a wonderful awakening to God’s grace and love and provision. Chemo sucks, don’t get me wrong, but I would not trade my journey for anything. Oh, and as of my three-month blood test I am 100% cancer-free! My verses were Psalm 62:1-6
1 I wait quietly before God,
for my victory comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will never be shaken.
3 So many enemies against one man—
all of them trying to kill me.
To them I’m just a broken-down wall
or a tottering fence.
4 They plan to topple me from my high position.
They delight in telling lies about me.
They praise me to my face
but curse me in their hearts.
5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will not be shaken.
I love how good our God is. I know how worried you were and God sent someone directly into your path, Diane, to speak truth and love to you. And what a moment that prayer must have been :) Our God moving and working in this LGO is amazing. I love that last line…I am adding it to quotes and such book to remember…that is a powerful word my friend.
I am so glad I could help you out…it is a honor to be your second :)
(by the way I have a new bloggy home….haha)
So awesome all is ok!!
so glad everything was ok! i had a breast cancer scare a couple of years ago. it was a tumor, but it was benign. that is one scary journey to walk. then, recently i got in a car crash, which resulted in a bunch of little tumors down the right side of my breast and a little into my rib cage. the doc says they are also benign (but still tumors, as is the other, so they’re all still there), but that getting this means i need to keep an eye out for cancer.
it’s scary. i’ve been there. i’m glad the news was positive for you!
Hi Crystal! I’m a first time commenter (I actually just found your blog yesterday through my Reader). Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for that verse. I’m going through some health stuff of my own, and it was a good reminder. I have heard that passage before, but I was really struck by “The Lord will fight for you” part. I guess it just hit me that if the Lord is fighting for us, He can’t be the cause of what He’s fighting (ie. He doesn’t cause the bad stuff). I have known that, but I guess it was a good reminder and a bit of proof. Thank you!
Crystal, it’s an honour to know you, pray with & for you, write songs based on your awesome life (ok…um…)
Seriously though, LGO (which I might add, sounds like it should be a prog-rock electronica boyband) has been so great for Diane and I to be part of, and the real community and accountability it has across the Pacific is mind-blowing. But then, so is God, so I shouldn’t be surprised hey.
So happy all is well, and a word in season has been sown.
I agree with David (well maybe not about the prog-rock boyband) – it’s been a real blessing and honour to be part of LGO and to share with all the amazing people in it. As I’ve said before, praying for someone to be healed is not a new thing for me, however, what we corporately experienced on Wednesday night was something completely new, and it just about blows me away. So thank you for being a willing recipient for prayer and the power of God via this very weak conduit! He never fails to amaze me.
The funny thing is, when I read that verse again it struck me that hang on, maybe this is something that God means for MY (& David’s) situation! Gosh, I’m slow sometimes!
Thank you so much for sharing this. You are absolutely right.
You said,
“I know each and every one of us will face something scary. Something unexpected. Something in our lives where our first instinct is to panic and try to take control of it.”
And my Monday at 3:40 am this week started that way. But I was able to say “He is my Strength.”
Yes, He IS Our Strength! He is fighting for us. What a promising scripture to hold on to. I find it comforting to know that God knows that we get scared sometimes. And yet He steps in to assure us there is nothing to fear.
That was the power of Jesus Christ! He didn’t leave us powerless. You too can pray for others, says so in the bible, with the laying on of hands. I love this story. Stay on fire for the Lord.
God bless you and your family.